


Just A Breath Away

by EnsignCelery



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Breathplay, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:43:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2458616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnsignCelery/pseuds/EnsignCelery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Geoff caught him doing it, he was absolutely humiliated. </p>
<p>It’s a little hard to explain to your boyfriend that, no, you weren’t in any danger despite your body seizing up and your eyes rolling back into your head and, yes, depriving yourself of air to the point of causing your body to react that way was completely on purpose and for masturbatory purposes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Breath Away

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't read those tags, I would like to emphasize that **there are mentions of suicide in this fic that could be potentially triggering.** Please heed the warning, my loves~

The first time Geoff caught him doing it, he was absolutely humiliated.

It’s a little hard to explain to your boyfriend that, no, you weren’t in any danger despite your body seizing up and your eyes rolling back into your head and, yes, depriving yourself of air to the point of causing your body to react that way was completely on purpose and for masturbatory purposes.

He obviously hadn’t gotten off after Geoff had frantically pulled his hand away from where it had been cupped over his own nose and mouth, and the look of pure terror on the man’s face followed by the blank look of confusion and loss had kept him from getting off on it since.

Michael had long ago learned that autoerotic asphyxiation was not something that normal people understood. The first thing that came to most people’s mind was of someone accidentally hurting or even fucking killing themselves trying to chase after that adrenaline rush. Hell, that’s what kept him from wanting to try it in the first place.

But a girlfriend after high school had gotten him fascinated with gags. They looked so pretty clenched between her teeth and, he found out later, felt amazing stretching his jaw out to a painful stiffness. A boyfriend after that had noticed how much Michael enjoyed the labored way he had to breathe around the ball gag and tried to introduce collars into the mix, cinching one just a little too tight around Michael’s neck and leaving him with that breathless, weightless feeling of having oxygen stolen from his brain, amplifying his orgasm in a way that sent heat shooting through his entire body. The collars hadn’t stayed (they dug into his skin and left bruises that he wasn’t comfortable explaining to his coworkers), and neither had the boyfriend (gags and toys were fun, but Michael just couldn’t get into the rest of the shit he’d tried bringing into the bedroom), but from that point forward Michael had found his new favorite way to get off.

He’d heard the stories, though, and reasoned with himself that he would be safe. He didn’t want to put his life in someone else’s hands during sex, not after the shitty way said boyfriend had reacted to him turning down the paddle, so he only did it while getting himself off. He also didn’t want to leave his life in the hands of some object that he couldn’t control, so he practiced holding his own breath, training his body to let it happen, to not force oxygen into his lungs until orgasm hit or until his vision started going black. It was still risky, but the adrenaline rush and the orgasm so strong that it left him completely limp afterwards was well worth it.

But he couldn’t convince himself that Geoff would see it that way.

If Michael were to trust anyone with his secret kink, it would be Geoff. Geoff cared about him, too much sometimes, and would never do anything to hurt him.

And that caring extended to the bedroom.

As embarrassed as Michael felt remembering Geoff walking in on him, and as many times as he had deflected the conversation since, he knew that he would have to suck it up and talk to the man. He knew Geoff would never hate him or leave him over something like this, and that the older man might even be willing to accept it if Michael explained it to him, but that didn’t keep him from being afraid. Years of listening to friends make crude suicide jokes whenever the subject came up had made him flinch back from talking about it anywhere but anonymously on the internet, and even there would get some opinionated asshole preaching about how his kink was wrong and unsafe.

But, Geoff.

Geoff wouldn’t do that, he didn’t think. He just had to work up the nerve to talk to him so he could prove it.

Deep breath.

Just fucking do it.

“Geoff.”

 

\---

 

The first time Michael got off on it in front of Geoff he was so nervous that he had a hard time even getting hard.

They had talked about his kink extensively, through a slew of Michael’s self-depreciating jokes and a number of uncomfortably earnest and emotional discussions, and Geoff wanted to see what the big fucking deal was already, so let’s just do it, Michael.

And Michael was nervous as fuck.

He later found out that Geoff was nervous as fuck, too. He was afraid that he wouldn’t like this kink of Michael’s, that his discomfort over Michael putting himself in danger like this would completely kill whatever mood was set by watching his boyfriend enjoy himself. 

He didn’t show it, though, somehow. He ran his hands up Michael’s body, ran his teeth and his tongue over the younger man’s neck, nibbled at his ear and whispered a mixture of filth and absolutely ridiculous things into it until they had both collapsed into a fit of giggles, the serious mood gone and replaced with a heaviness of a different kind, Geoff’s tattooed fingers sliding over his cock to stroke him to full hardness before slipping away to grab the lube.

He had kissed Michael through the shivers that came from the cold slickness rubbing into his skin, cooed filthy praise into his neck when Michael pushed down on the fingers that slid into him, too loud groan slipping past his lips and making Geoff shudder.

“God, look at you,” he breathed out, looking down along the pale body beneath him to watch as Michael’s cock twitched eagerly. “Always so fucking eager for me, babe. Want another one?”

The babble of curses and pleas that fell from Michael’s lips were met with an enthusiastic kiss and a third finger before Geoff pulled away a few minutes later to grab the vibrator Michael had picked out earlier and slip it easily inside.

“Fu-uck, Geoff,” Michael choked out, hips thrusting upward when Geoff immediately hit the button to start the vibrations.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Geoff murmured, licking a stripe up the side of Michael’s neck and enjoying the way that he arched away to give Geoff more skin to work with. “Show me how much you like it when I fuck you. Make some noise for me.”

The garbled nonsense that fell from his lips seemed to make the older man happy, the arm moving the toy inside of him speeding up and angling hard thrusts into him at every arch of his hips, every thrust and pivot and, after a particularly loud moan that caused Geoff to rut harshly against his side, a click on the base of the toy that sent even stronger vibrations running through him.

Michael managed to bark out a sharp, “Close!” at a particularly deep angle of the toy, causing the man to, despite the increase of swear words spitting from the younger man’s lips, slowly wind down his thrusting, halting completely after a few moments.

“Michael,” Geoff said softly, his eyes dark at the sight of his young lover squirming restlessly against sweat-soaked sheets. “You were going to show me something, remember?”

For a moment, no, he couldn’t remember. All he could do was whimper uselessly through the mindless filth falling from his lips at the fact that he was coming down from that peak, his orgasm falling away and leaving him desperate under this man’s hands.

And then he remembered.

He didn’t think it was possible to feel ice and heat shoot through his body at the same time, but there it was.

“You, uh,” he had to swallow to speak through his harsh panting. “You’re sure, Geoff?”

A pause.

“Yeah.” That sliver of blue surrounding dark pupils glinted in the dim light of the room. “I want to see you, Michael. Gonna get yourself off for me?” He leaned in closer, planting a quick, filthy kiss across his young lover’s lips, then drew back to stare, intent, into his eyes with a quiet, almost whispered, “Gonna  choke yourself for me, Michael?”

His breath had caught in his throat at that, his body instinctually holding that breath in when Geoff’s hand once again started moving the toy.

It hadn’t taken long to get off like that, looking up into Geoff’s eyes as his body spasmed, his vision grew brighter and then darker along the edges, as an almost overwhelming heat pooled at his belly and then melted outwards, drawing him into the most intense orgasm he had ever experienced as his fingers clenched harshly into the sheets underneath them.

Geoff told him later that the look in his eyes at that moment had convinced him. The trust and love and contentment that he saw in Michael’s eyes right before they clenched shut, the satisfied way that his body had melted against the sheets even as he heaved for breath, had Geoff absolutely captivated.

It wasn’t long before he asked to see it again.

 

\---

 

“You’re sure you wanna do this, man?”

“When have you ever known me to back down from awesome sex?”

“True. But you, uh. You just seemed so worried about it at first. Like, you don’t want to hurt me or see me get hurt or whatever.”

“Do you think I’d hurt you?”

“No. You’re the last person that would ever hurt me.”

“You trust me?”

“With my life.”

“Then, yeah. I’m sure I wanna do this.”

 

\---

 

They didn’t do it often, even so.

Geoff was still worried, in the back of his mind, about hurting him, about the lasting effect that depriving him of oxygen sometimes to the point of his vision going black would have on him. About abusing that trust that Michael had in him and slipping somewhere.

Michael was still worried that they would take it too far and that Geoff would never want to do this with him again. That he would get hurt and, in the process, hurt the man he loved.

But, when they did indulge, it was absolutely fucking mindblowing.

Michael would get extra fidgety when they were alone. His eyes would get softer, his body language more submissive, more demure, trying to lure Geoff in without having to say it aloud. And Geoff would pick up on it, would ease him into bed, worship his body as Michael opened up to him and urged him on.

When he felt himself getting close, Michael would abruptly quiet his noises, force himself to take quieter, shallower breaths until Geoff picked up on it and placed his hand over the other man’s mouth, the edge of his palm pressed up against his nose, loosely at first and then firmly when Michael’s breath started to stutter.

He would slow his thrusts down to a harsh, heavy grind and watch eagerly as Michael’s chest started to heave, his hips slow down to a weak grind against Geoff’s own. Michael’s eyes would get this lost, content look to them even as his body would jackknife harshly against Geoff’s own and, almost out of nowhere, Geoff would hungrily take it all in as Michael spasmed down on him once more, his cock twitching and spurting against their stomachs, eyes clenching shut.

Geoff’s eyes would drift closed as well, hand immediately leaving Michael’s face to allow his wheezing pants to fill their ears, thrusts turning wild as he chased his own orgasm through the younger man’s pliant body. His hand would move to press lightly against Michael’s still twitching cock, enjoying the shudders traveling through his body and vibrating around Geoff’s own cock as his own orgasm overtook him, flashes of his lover’s lust blown, foggy eyes lighting up behind his own lids as he came.

It was after the sex, however, that was slowly becoming Michael’s favorite.

The thing he had missed, exploring his kink on his own, had been a caring lover wiping him down afterwards where he was too boneless and out of breath to do so. A water bottle left beside the bed before they had started helped soothe his throat, muscles aching from contracting harshly, trying to draw in what wasn’t there.

And the feeling of warm, careful arms as they pulled him against Geoff’s chest coupled with the soft words that fell from the man’s lips were the best part of all, his muscles relaxing even further in their post-orgasmic state at the feeling of warm and safe and love surrounding him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, baby.” A kiss to his cheek, stubble rasping against soft skin. “Could watch you like this every night. Fucking love you so much.”

A shaking sigh slipped past Michael’s lips, a lazy smile curling in its wake.

“Love you, too, Geoff.”


End file.
